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Behind the Scenes at Mary Poppins (A Satire)
by Maddie Pomager (8th)

Mary Poppins Jr. Tickets!

A Very Satirical Interview (In Script Form):

Leo and Sophie (Bert and Bertie) Are Best of Friends

Interviewer: How has it been working with one another throughout the rehearsal process of Mary Poppins Jr.?
Leo: Well, I think that everyone has different styles of working, and I think some are objectively better than others. (under his breath) particularly one individual that I work very closely with.
Sophie (arms crossed): Oh.
I: Sophie, I know your character, Sweep Captain(Bertie), is not included in the original script. How do you feel about being Bert’s sidekick?
S: Honestly, Bert is pretty boring. I mean he’s really just Bertie without the ‘ie’, but he’s just plain old Bert.
(LEO sighs, as if about to say something)
I: I see. Now—
L: I would just like to say that I, for one, am on top of my memorization. And I come to rehearsals prepared.
S: That is so not true!
L: You forgot your script everyday this week!
S: So did you! You know sometimes I wonder why he’s even here. I should get to fly! Bertie is WAY cooler than (rolls eyes) Bert.
L (a beat, under his breath): At least my lines are in the script.

Wanna Up Your Rizz™ Game? Try these Mary Poppins Jr. Pick-up Lines!

Are you George Banks? Cause you’re looking pretty precise and orderly!
Are you Mary Poppins? Because I’d like to go for a jolly saunter with you!
Are you heaven? Cause i’m reaching for you!
Are you Mary Poppins? Because I’ll never forget you!
Are you Robertson Ay? Cause you’re drop dead gorgeous!
If I could rearrange supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, I’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together!
You must be Mary Poppins because you’re practically perfect!
Are you Mary Poppins? Because when you hold my hand, I feel so grand!
Are you Northbrooks’ loan? Because you’ve certainly got my interest!
I must be Neleus because I’ve waited half a century to take a walk with you!
Are you Bertie? Because you swept me off my feet!
Are you a sweep? Because you stepped into my heart just in time!


Yes! Mary AND Bert will be flying in CMS’ 2023 production of Mary Poppins Jr. Crazyright!! Well, we aren’t allowed to spoil anything, but I’m sure I can tell you a teeny tiny secret. Madison Rote, CMS’ Mary Poppins, won’t be wearing a harness for the show. This is a big deal, and the school can get in so much trouble if the secret got out.

But you have to know. Madison can fly. That’s right. She can fly! And you see wires, I think you should get your eyes checked. She’s truly magical, as is the rest of the show. But how could you know if you didn’t go see it? Show dates are March 2nd - 5th! It’s your last chance to get tickets, so you better hurry! I
wouldn’t want to miss the magic either!!

Mary Poppins Jr. Tickets!