by Benjamin Colcher (6th)
On October 30, 2023, a strange smoke pillar near Colonial MIddle School became visible. It was immediately identified as a malfunction at a Microwaveable Falafel factory. Don’t panic; it’s all under control. The suspect was immediately identified to be a clumsy teenager who was just trying to get some views on social media. His name is Stewart Pid, and his mother, Rita Book, shared the story for all of Philadelphia to hear.
“My son became renowned for his questionable behavior two years ago,” she said, “When he was attempting a TikTok challenge, and the app itself became an addiction for him. So, I banned him from the devious app, but he instantly found a loophole. He downloaded Youtube and created an account. He started posting Youtube Shorts, and he followed all trends, whether good or bad. One day, he told me that he and his friends were going to work on a school project after school, so I let him.
What I didn’t realize was that he was filming a short about a new trend where people put Fun Size Cheeto bags in random places, and then they had a friend try and find it. And when he reached the filming spot, he took his Cheeto bag and shoved it down a conveniently placed pipe in the middle of nowhere that led the spicy snack to the computer cooling system of the factory. This caused it to malfunction, causing the smoke to rise and slowed down production. Don’t worry, because I scolded him with a good slap on the shoulder at home, because putting that bag in an unreachable spot was the equivalent of cheating in hide and seek, and as the Number One Hide And Seek Champion in the USA, I would be deeply saddened if someone did something as cruel as that. You can rest assured that he will never do anything problematic again.”
Immediately after this incident, backlash was unleashed upon the Pid family. Mrs. Book and her husband, Mr. Pid, had to pay a fine of one hundred packages of Scrub Daddy sponges and were prohibited from buying hot cheetos ever again. Online protests erupted, as people from all over the world were enraged that they didn’t have their needed Microwaveable Falafel. In fact, people even started a petition to ban Stewart from Tiktok and Youtube Shorts. Also, not-so innocent Stewart is being forced to wear an undersized cowboy costume for two weeks. However, not all consequences were bad.
After the news spread, Stewart’s Youtube Short went incredibly viral. It got 1.23758 billion views and ninety seven million views in the first hour alone. This made the Pid family famous, and Stewart became sponsored by many famous restaurant chains like Taco Bell and McDonalds. Ironically, he became the CEO of Youtube and made enough money to buy the leaning tower of Pisa, though instead he used all his money to buy a vacation home on Cheeto Island, a cheeto-filled where he could once more spend time with his one true love, snack foods.
Fortunately, the factory is back in business, and there is a new manager, who happens to be a famous youtuber, Jimmy Donaldson from Mr. Beast. Business is booming, as it also started making Mr. Beast Feastables. So, was the malfunction of the factory good, or was it unnecessary and another reason to stop using those darn cell phones? Well, that’s for you Falafel lovers to decide.