by Liam Otero and Dillon Fisher (7th)
Adults stock their houses chock-full of candy, but realize kids are asking for raw veggies.
After 10 months of waiting, it's finally here. October, The Month of chilly winds, autumn season, and Halloween, the annual holiday where kids dress up in mostly cheap costumes, go into their neighborhood, and show up to houses begging for candy, and OH BOY, We have a lot to talk about. First of all, this Halloween, parents are finally answering the call of the candy, which has been ignored for years. They are finally stocking up on truly awe-inspiring loads of candy! But, these parents are in for the surprise of the century, the kids don't want candy. They want raw veggies. Now, the parents dismissed this as a joke at first. But, they soon realized they wanted pure vegetables.
Now, you might find this as laughable, but the parents were furious. Here's some of them right now!
“I spent over five thousand dollars on gummy bears alone, this was a waste of money! My entire living room is gummy worms!” Screamed Dingleberry Skadoosh.
"Leave me alone, i'm in denial," Said one person who preferred to remain anonymous, he then closed the door in the reporter's face and started screaming at the top of his lungs. Everyone else left to probably complain to the government or something like that. Parent's these days, even worse than their 5 year old boys, (and that's saying a lot).
Now, no one knows why this is happening, considering that kids used to hate vegetables. Now, they are hating candy. We've gotten reports from countless people from different neighborhoods saying that the kids were asking for raw blue cheese instead of blue mints. They were asking for broccoli instead of asking for lollipops and M&M’s and raw coffee beans instead of chocolate. We even got a report from a neighborhood that a particular group of kids called the House Raiders, a group of 7 year olds who had plotted the best houses for candy. Pretty cool right? Well now, we have angry people complaining about how that same group of kids were now asking for RAW BRUSSEL SPROUTS instead of skittles.
Parents are now furious at their kids because of how much money they spent on candy specifically this year, and now, it's all gone to waste. Although, researcher and social media user Pringle Dingle Glingle, might have an answer for this phenomena. “I believe this kids act, is not out of their act,” Stated Pringle, “I believe that this act has come from a new Trend on TikTok called Candy Strike, where kids would go out on Trick or Treating and drive parents crazy by asking for raw veggies like broccoli, brussel sprouts, and carrots.” Even if this might be true, we have no real evidence that this is true. (Wait? What's that? What is that outside?!) We have an announcement. Houses have been Egged and TP’ed. But… now, is that? TOMATO? Houses are now getting hit by tomatoes instead of eggs, and are now getting vandalized by toothpaste! This holiday is getting out of control.
The government is working hard to give angry parents their money back, considering that NO ONE kept their receipt! I don't know what’s going to happen, but I am just hoping that this doesn’t continue for the rest of the holidays (hint hint cough cough) And it looks like some kids are-(Knock knock) Hold up someone at the door. (Door open sound) Who are you guys? (Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the- SLAM). Alright, this has got to be a prank! Christmas carollers just showed up at my doorstep! A-And they were dressed up as Santa and his elves. Sigh. This holiday is getting way too out of control. Well, that's all I’ve got for today. Happy Halloween guys, and kids please, try to eat your candy. These adults are providing you with free sweets. Adios!