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Incoming 6th graders mistakenly expect middle school to be a positive experience.

By David Hayman (8th)

Recently, the class of 2031 made visits to tour the middle school, and get used to its layout. After the tour, many were polled about their feelings about next year. 90% were excited to move up to middle school, with 54% expected it to be easier, both socially and academically.

“I couldn’t even think about it, these kids were so excited to be middle schoolers, they have no idea what its really like.” said one teacher.

The principal had proposed tour guides warn them that middle school is in fact, not fun, but the superintendent opted to not tell the poor kids about the nightmare which is middle school, to prevent them from moving districts.

“It’ll probobly be really easy to make friends and be liked, I am excited.” said one fith grader. Little do they know, in a year they will be emotionless robots.

Bonus article:
CMS Scoop preparing for influx of new writers

Last monday, CMS Scoop issued a statement saying “We will not tolerate any articles about why middle schoolers should have recess.” Often, at the beginning of the year, numerous sixth graders attempt to write opinion articles claiming that middle schoolers should have recess.

Even the head writer of the daily rubbish, David Hayman, is guilty of this, the first article he ever wrote for the CMS scoop (but not published) was an article making this very claim.

At that point in the year, 6th graders are still at heart elementary schoolers with a longing to play outside before or after lunch. And while they can picture themselves running and playing tag at recess, if you ask anyone in any other grade, if they would want to do that, they would likely say no.

We at the Daily Rubbish have a statement for these soon to be writers. Be creative, don’t write articles about why you need recess. You don’t need it. Write something else, but whatever you do, DO NOT write satire, unless you are writing for the Daily Rubbish of course.

(We are trying to have a monopoly over satire, don’t risk going against us.)