Rubbish editor:
“New boycott on artichoke has nothing to do with other satire probably”
By David Hayman
“We do not support artichoke hearts, artichoke chips, or anything that has to do with that evil plant.” says Al E. Gater the editor of The Daily Rubbish.
He also mentioned that this has “nothing to do with any other satire column that might have appeared, but I don’t know it might not exist but just in case.” When asked what he would do if a satire column called the artichoke appeared, Gater said, “we would recommend that our readers refrain from also reading the artichoke because it relates to that terrible, terrible, plant. Its not because we are worried about being not as good as them or anything.” Al E.Gater then rambled on for a good hour about how he wont let those other people take his precious hot dog punch cards.
The daily rubbish has released guidelines on defeating artichokes. Here are some ideas
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Burn artichokes
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Do not read any satire articles by any one called “the artichoke” but there is not one we are aware of anyway so don’t worry about that but just in case
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Refuse to eat artichokes
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When talking about artichokes, the only appropriate topic is how terrible they are, as well as how if anyone decided to write satire as “the artichoke, they are not funny.
As we finish this article, remember: do not read anyone else other than the daily rubbish.
Also, for the record: The Daily rubbish has NO connections to people's republic of johnstons land. Don’t ask.