School board to remove 4 days from spring break to combat the lack of snow days*.

By David Hayman (8th)

As you may have noticed, the school has been using virtual days when there is extreme weather. This is because we only have two snow days available.

To combat this issue, they have decided to remove 4 days from spring break, effective immediately.

Multiple parents were in protest, one mother stated that now she will not be able to bring her students to Haiti. They will instead have to wait for their next trip in the summer, which is a cruise through the red sea off the coast of Yemen.

The school board has insured parents that they will not be using these snow days, opting for a virtual day just in case.

“It is an important experience for these children to, rather than relaxing their brains, spend every moment possible on learning important lesons, such as how they farmed in ancient mesopotamia.” said the superintendent.

*Note: This article is satirical in nature and is factually untrue. Probably.