by Liam Otero (8th)

Episode 6

Hey, Rubbish Readers! Welcome back to the Daily Rubbish, live from Baltimore, where it is absolute chaos(Not because of us for once). This time, the chaos is caused by the newest scientific discovery: The IP(Lets be mature guys) virus. IP stands for the Intrusive Plague, and it's a new neurological disease that invades the brain's thoughts, specifically intrusive thoughts. Let's get started, I’m Liam Otero, and THIS is your Daily Rubbish! 

For starters, let's talk about this disease. What is it? This disease has just risen in 2025 Baltimore, discovered after a mosquito from Africa found its way in a supply crate and headed for America. It's miraculous that it survived the journey with no food at all. When the cargo ship landed on the docks, the mosquito found its way out of the shipment crate and flew to freedom. This mosquito was insanely ravenous for blood(Because of course it was) And immediately began flying around noisily. People heard it, but thought it was just sound from the ships. But it didn’t take long for the mosquito to take its first bite. When we asked patient zero what happened, he said, “It didn’t feel like much, but I managed to catch the bugger, and I put him in a jar.” When he showed it to his colleague, who was an entomologist, he said it was unlike anything he’d ever seen. The mosquito was large and had red and black striping on its legs. Its wings were an entirely different pattern. Our entomologist, who was named Darry, told Patient Zero that he would take the specimen to the lab and try to study its disease. But unfortunately, they were far too late for what was about to happen…

Just 2 days later, Patient Zero woke up to horror. His bite grew from a bump to nothing. He was terrified, because no mosquito has ever had a bite swell and then go straight to nothing. But that wasn’t all. Because while Patient Zeroes lack of swelling maybe just ruined his morning, secretly, a disease was spreading into his brain, and was about to invade his thoughts. You could say it was, intrusive.(Heh heh- LAUGH RIGHT NO-) Anyways, so a few hours later, Patient Zero got himself arrested for kicking an old ladies dog off of a bridge(NOOOOOOOOOOO). When questioned by police, he responded with a simple, “I just wondered what would happen.” He then proceeded to one inch punch the chief and run away. If you haven’t guessed by now what the disease does, it diminishes the infected’s sense of self control and heightens their capacity for intrusive thoughts, making ignoring them impossible. And this was yesterday. 

It's only gotten worse from here. Coworkers have been fired for breaking computers and phones, kids have faced disciplinary action for committing war crimes, and almost all of them said that they started feeling these thoughts when in contact with someone, who would be tested to have the Intrusive Plague. Now, the streets of Baltimore are filled with paranoid people, with all their thoughts centered around the fact that they might get infected. And now, medical doctors have called this the worst virus since the Black Death. Mental asylums have had to release some of the infected because their capacity is going through the roof.

Now, the infected still roam today. And the worst part is that you may not even know. Symptoms to this disease are just intrusive thought control, that's it(We even refreshed twice!). And, The IP virus is highly contagious, you could get it just from sitting near a person. The mosquito that caused this plague has been confirmed dead, but that's not saying much considering the chaos that little bugger caused. Give Baltimore a break to be honest. It's almost like we're purposefully putting all our stories in Baltimore to tie to one big event that will threaten the very world as we know it- I mean, probably Baltimore is just cursed, maybe. 

Officials are now warning any travelers to NOT go to Baltimore. They are putting the city in complete lockdown and quarantine. If you see anyone that may be infected by this disease, report it to your nearest medical center. Doctors will show up to the house to see your arm off or something(Is that not what a vaccine is?) Speaking of vaccines, there has been no reported cure to this disease, so yeah, we may as well be cooked. Who cares about COVID? This disease has had the same impact on just the city alone. And well, what else is there to say about it? Don’t go to Baltimore, I guess. 
 

And, well, that concludes Episode 6 of the Rubbish, we’ll have more coming to you, as soon as my worker- I mean, partner, Jackson, finishes his dang article that I have been delaying for days, so JUST DO IT JA- Ahem. 

Well, we’ll be back later, don’t forget to be kind to someone today, God bless ya’ll, Adios!