Did the Cow Really Jump over the Moon?

By: Dominic Renneisen (6th grade)

Now we’ve all heard about how the cow that jumped over moon, but did it really? There’s been many theories, but we’ve been researching, and we think we’ve got an answer. This might be the most important article of time, so be warned, you’re head might explode due to the power of the knowledge coming ahead.

First, we need to know, why would the cow jump over the moon? Well, as we all know, the cow is the is mascot of Chick-fil-a. Knowing this, we can assume that the cow eats there.

Chick-fil-a sells a specific meal, containing: a chicken sandwich, and large Dr. Pepper. People who have consumed this meal have said, quote, “I feel higher than the moon!” Well, that doesn’t sound familiar?

Next, let’s hear what Dr. Totallyalberteinstein has to say about this debate. Oh wait, he has nothing to say. Well except the word, “yes”. I assuming that he meant, “No, the cow did not jump over the moon.” Which is 100% wrong, and by the way, I don’t think he’s even Albert Einstein.

And finally, the biggest question of them all, is this stupid? Yeah, yes, it is, yep, true, right, and totally not wrong in any shape or form, because that is not possible, blah, blah, blah! Oh  wait, I feel this article is missing something, welp. This really silly.