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by Ayana Willoughby (8th)

Doctor cures white tongue by prescribing patients cherry slushies

Published June 4, 2023 4:25pm EST

An unconventional medication has come onto the medical scene in the past few weeks due to the remedy of Harvard alumnus, Dr. Harold Skinner, increasing in popularity. Medical-grade cherry slushies are soon to be available over-the-counter as treatment for white tongue in the mainland United States after gaining FDA approval following sixteen years of development and research conducted by Johnson & Johnson.

White tongue, a condition that causes the tongue to appear white due to bacteria, dead cells, or food debris build-up, can be managed with the oral administration of a slushie five times per day.

Red Dye 40 is the active ingredient in the slushies, which is responsible for restoring the color of the tongue. Although the dye covers the white coloring, regular users have criticized the use of the dye, saying that it looks “unnatural” and “like [they] eat candy all the time”.

Dr. Skinner was among the first to prescribe the slushies, and told The Artichoke he believes in science and that the product is safe to use.

Other doctors are not as convinced of the effectiveness of the medication, citing the frequency of taking it as a potential problem.

“We can’t have people with twenty-five slushies in their freezer at once just to get through the week,” said Dr. Anne Taylor, the Chief Medical Officer at the Johns Hopkins Hospital.

“Seriously, are we getting microwave Aspirin too?”

Dr. Taylor told NBC News she takes issue with the likelihood of misuse owing to the fact that the slushies have high sugar content to promote methodical usage since they must be ingested throughout the day.

Johnson & Johnson lists type-2 diabetes and blood pressure as a side-effects of the medication on its website, however they claim that these are “rare” because “[the slushies] are meant to be a short-term solution”.

The Artichoke reached out to Johnson & Johnson for comment. They told us the person who handles correspondence is “a little shy”.

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