by Luke Dinan and Seamus Boyle (7th)

THE SWISH: SEASON ONE, EPISODE TWO

Hello, it’s Luke again, and I’m here with the final verdict in the Pigeon Play case. If you missed Episode One, here’s a quick recap: the Placeland Pigeons’ coach used a trained pigeon to drop the football directly into the wide receiver’s hands, securing the win and a playoff spot. We took the coach to court—and here’s what happened.

9:00 a.m., Courtroom

Seamus and I stood to present our case.

“We know you’re guilty,” we said.

The Placeland coach let out an exaggerated evil laugh. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Sir,” we replied, “you are literally laughing like an evil mastermind. That does not help your case.”

The judge banged the gavel. “Order in the court! Luke and Seamus, present your evidence.”

“We believe the coach used a pigeon to cheat and secure a spot in the playoffs,” we stated.

The judge turned to the coach. “How do you respond?”

“Well,” the coach said confidently, “there’s no actual proof.”

“Oh really?” we said. “Then what is this?”

We displayed a monitor showing the remote controls used to direct the pigeon’s flight path.

The courtroom fell silent.

“Coach,” the judge said, “if you have no explanation for this evidence, I have no choice but to find you guilty.”

“Wait,” the coach stammered. “What happens if I’m guilty?”

“If you are found guilty,” the judge declared, “Globlagoo advances to the playoffs instead of you—and you will be placed under arrest.”

The coach stood in stunned disbelief.

“I find the coach guilty,” the judge announced. “Case closed.”

And that’s how we made the playoffs.

Stay tuned for the next article, where I’ll share what happened during our playoff run.

See you next time. Peace.