by Sophia Joseph (8th)
The several common symptoms of the annual PSSA’s, including cold sweats, panic, lethargy, procrastination, and erosion of the mind have been felt everywhere these past few weeks as the test sweeps the world. However, many
Scientists are left baffled at the sudden insweep of so-called “brainstorms'' originating at the south end of California, severely damaging the East coast and leaving gross little braincells everywhere. Experts have put forth theories on the causes, including, but not limited to, the panicked studying of pupils from 4th grade up through 7th, (not including eighth graders, their brains have rotted too much to care) and any and all teachers who have their subjects being reviewed.
Teachers are attempting to rangle the brains as new education methods arise. Methods developed to capture the brains include hauling large screens into the pathways of the storms, adding video game controllers as “free samples” outside of video games stores, putting mesmerizing/satisfying pictures on billboards, and putting convenient “brain rest stops” on the sides of roads.The problem is that the brains continue to melt and melt the more methods are tried, leading to serious brain damage and blindness and brains ramming into the sides of buildings like they got nothing to do.
Brains have shown up at concerts ramming into celebrities and screaming at the top of their brain lungs.Once the brains have been put back into their correct human bodies the victim has no memory of the brains ever leaving. They acted no differently than when the brains were still gone, proving the scientific theory that humans do not need their brains after all. The schools turn to their science teachers for answers, and the very cofused science teachers emailing the nearest brain hospital for anwers. Messages of “pray for me, I'm going to fail the PSSAs” and such have been sent across the internet from those who are still trying study. Some brains reject their human bodies as they find better, healthier humans walking around with no brains.
Vacancies in hotel rooms are being filled with the brains. Next week, Where are all the hotel rooms going? Can it be stopped?