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by Maeve O'Connell (6th)

You open a bag of potato chips, (Or not, depending on your priorities.) and you see that half of the small size bag of potato chips is missing, is this due to inflation- or is that just a cover up?
The government has told the people that this injustice is due to inflation, but there must be another part to the story- so what could it be? Could this be because they think that America
needs to stop eating such unhealthy foods? Is it because Arnold
Snortzenbangerwinkleberryfing, the prior mayor, demanded that the people of his community stop eating so much junk food?

Or could it be because green and purple radioactive space worms have been gobbling up half of the bags as part of their deal with Mr. Space King Dude? (That’s his real name, I’m not joking.) Yes, it actually is that green and purple radioactive space worms have been gobbling up half of the bags as part of their deal with Mr. Space King Dude.

Mr. Space King Dude is very nefarious. Mr. Space King Dude lives in space. Mr. Space King-
ok, this is getting annoying saying his full name every time we reference him. Can we give him a
nickname? How about Mr. Dude? Yes, this shall suffice.

Anyway, these green and purple radioactive space worms made a deal with Mr. Dude, and for
all of the food that they devour from the bags of food, such as Welch's Fruit Snacks, Lays
Potato Chips, and Swedish Fish. These green and purple radioactive space worms truly desire
revenge, because they were wronged long ago by the ancient humans of Quokai, a civilization
so old that Middle Schoolers had to decipher its secrets.

In the classrooms of 6th grade history teachers, as the civilization project that was created as a
new part of the curriculum, little did they know-the children who participated in this project would
accidentally create a civilization that is an almost exact replica of the one that was created long
ago in ancient times. These children stumbled upon this old world that had not yet been
discovered by archaeologists-though they had thought that they were on the brink of discovering
something about this new island that they had discovered.

After long hours of searching for clues, this group of 4 children Geston Happlien, Joshie
McWallen, Kariien Plassicon, Bob Smith, a group of scientists, and an elite group of
archaeologists that were specially selected for this job, and they started to locate strange facts
about these people, and what they did.

The first of these many alarming discoveries was that these people didn’t seem to be from our
planet earth. There were records of them making contact with entities from space, which seems
far ahead of their time-yet there is also proof of this interaction. Possible remains of UFOs were
found on site, and there were strange shapes that the archaeologists had identified as
“Unimportant.”

Then, there were the stories. There were tales of green and purple radioactive space worms-
yes, they did have that name-that these people had made a deal with. This is when the
researchers started to question whether these clues were planted by some kind of mischievous 

child who thought that it would be funny to mess with the government. Then, about a week after
they found their first artifact, Joshie and Kariien found the holy grail of this project.
It had looked like nothing more than a strange shape that had been deemed not worthy of
attention, but after Joshie took a closer look, he realized that it was in fact, an alien body. It was
about ⅔ the size of a human, and still had its last 4 meals in its stomachs. (Yes, stomachs as in
plural, this species just so happened to have multiple.)

According to what was deciphered, the aliens helped the people meet the green and purple
radioactive space worms, who had made a deal with Mr. Dude to avenge him when needed in
exchange for sustenance. Now, let’s face the facts, if you’re some kind of otherworldly being like
Mr. Dude, it’s hard to find food for some kind of low-life creature that resides on a planet. The
green and purple radioactive space worms were beginning to grow unhappy, so Mr. Dude did
what he had to do, he framed the people of that civilization for a crime against the green and
purple radioactive space worms, this then provided an easy way for the green and purple
radioactive space worms to get their end of the deal, while Mr. Dude was off the hook for not
fulfilling his end of the deal for 2 years.

Warning:
Mr. Space King Dude is still at large, the authorities aren’t doing anything about it, because they
can’t, but if you see any green and purple radioactive space worms, please report them to the
authorities immediately to make them aware of the situation. If you have read this information
in the article above, Mr. Rothstein and all members of the CMS Scoop are not responsible
when you get hunted down by the green and purple radioactive space worms, and all of your
Welch's Fruit Snacks get stolen, rather than only the usual half of the bag.

Image Citation:

"Bag of Chips." Thinkstock. Published August 1, 2013. Accessed June 9, 2023. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/51993/why-are-potato-chip-bags-always-half-empty